personal growth journey – Be Your Own Life Coach

I Tried The Let Them Theory for 30 Days – Here’s What Happened

If you’ve spent any time on social media lately, you’ve probably heard about The Let Them Theory. It’s a simple yet powerful concept that’s gone viral for changing the way we approach relationships, friendships, and even workplace dynamics. At its core, this theory says: “If they want to, let them.”

Sounds easy, right? But when you’re used to micromanaging, overthinking, or needing constant validation, applying this theory feels like climbing a mountain barefoot. That’s why I decided to take on a 30-day challenge: live by The Let Them Theory and see what happens.

Spoiler alert: The results surprised me—and they might change the way you see relationships forever.

What Is The Let Them Theory?

Before diving into my experience, let’s break down what The Let Them Theory is all about. Created by author and life coach Mel Robbins, this theory is rooted in the belief that you cannot and should not control other people’s actions.

If your partner doesn’t text you back immediately—let them.
If your friends go out without inviting you—let them.
If your coworker takes credit for your idea—let them.

It’s not about being passive or tolerating disrespect. It’s about recognizing that other people’s behavior is a reflection of them, not you. Your power lies in your response, not in controlling their choices.

In a world obsessed with control, The Let Them Theory is like a breath of fresh air. But does it actually work in real life? That’s what I set out to discover.

Why I Decided to Try It

I’ll admit—I’ve always been a fixer. If a friend seemed distant, I’d overanalyze every text. If a colleague didn’t meet a deadline, I’d stress and pick up the slack. This left me mentally drained and constantly anxious.

When I stumbled upon The Let Them Theory, it sounded liberating. For once, I wanted to stop obsessing over things outside my control. I wanted to find peace in acceptance. So, I committed to 30 days of living by one simple rule: if they want to, let them.

Week 1: The Struggle Begins

The first week was… uncomfortable. Every time someone didn’t act the way I expected, my instinct was to react, explain, or fix. For example:

Day 2: A friend canceled plans last minute. Normally, I’d ask why and feel upset. Instead, I said, “No problem, take care!” It felt strange at first, but also freeing.
Day 4: My partner didn’t call when he said he would. Instead of sending a passive-aggressive text, I reminded myself: If he wants to, he will. If he doesn’t, that’s information.

By the end of Week 1, I noticed something: my stress level had dropped. When you stop trying to control everything, life feels lighter.

Week 2: Unexpected Freedom

By Week 2, the magic of this theory started kicking in. Here’s what changed:

My anxiety decreased. Instead of overthinking, I simply observed.
I had more time and energy. When you stop chasing people for attention or explanations, you reclaim mental space.
Some relationships shifted. A couple of friends stopped reaching out—and honestly, that told me all I needed to know.

I realized that when you let people show you who they are, you save yourself years of frustration.

Week 3: The Real Test

In Week 3, I faced bigger challenges. A coworker took credit for my idea in a meeting. Normally, I’d feel betrayed and start plotting how to address it. This time, I let it go in the moment and calmly followed up later. Instead of drama, I focused on my work and my own growth.

This was when I understood something profound: letting them doesn’t mean you have no boundaries. It means you choose peace over control.

Week 4: A New Perspective on Life

By the final week, The Let Them Theory wasn’t just an experiment—it was a lifestyle shift. Here’s what happened:

I stopped people-pleasing. If someone pulled away, I didn’t chase.
I gained self-respect. I no longer begged for attention or explanations.
I felt more confident. My happiness wasn’t tied to others’ approval.

The biggest change? I learned that letting go isn’t weakness—it’s power.

The Mental Health Benefits I Experienced

Living by The Let Them Theory for 30 days had unexpected benefits:

Less stress and overthinking
Better sleep
Improved self-esteem
More authentic relationships
A sense of peace I didn’t know I needed

Science backs this up too. Studies show that rumination and control-seeking behavior increase anxiety and depression, while acceptance-based approaches improve emotional well-being.

How You Can Try It Too

If you’re ready to try The Let Them Theory, start small:

Pause before reacting. When someone disappoints you, take a breath.
Ask yourself: “Do I really need to control this?”
Repeat the mantra: If they want to, let them.
Set healthy boundaries. Letting go doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect.
Focus on what you can control: your energy, your mindset, your response.

Final Thoughts: Will I Keep Living This Way?

Absolutely. The Let Them Theory isn’t just a trend—it’s a tool for mental freedom. In 30 days, I went from stressed and controlling to calm and confident. The truth is, people will do what they want anyway. Trying to stop them only hurts you.

When you let go of the illusion of control, you gain something far more powerful: peace of mind. And that’s worth everything.

So, the next time you feel tempted to overanalyze, chase, or control—pause and remember: If they want to, let them.

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How I Broke Free from Other People’s Expectations

The Invisible Cage of Expectations

Have you ever felt like you’re living someone else’s life? That was me for years. I checked all the boxes—went to a good school, studied the major my parents wanted, got a “stable” job, and tried to be the strong, dependable person everyone expected me to be. On the outside, everything looked perfect. Inside? I was exhausted, unhappy, and disconnected from who I truly was.

Breaking free from other people’s expectations wasn’t easy. It felt scary, rebellious, and even selfish at times. But it was the best decision of my life. Today, I want to share my journey, why we fall into this trap, and how you can reclaim your freedom and live authentically.

Why We Live for Other People’s Expectations

Before we talk about breaking free, let’s understand why we end up in this situation:

1. Family Pressure and Cultural Norms

Most of us grow up hearing phrases like:
“You should become a doctor.”
“You need a stable job.”
“Don’t embarrass the family.”
Sound familiar? Our parents often want the best for us, but their definition of success might not match what truly makes us happy.

2. Society’s Checklist for Success

Society loves a neat little box: good education, career, marriage, kids, house, car. Step out of line, and suddenly you feel judged. Social media makes this worse by glorifying picture-perfect lives.

3. The Fear of Disapproval

Humans are wired to seek belonging. We fear rejection so much that we sacrifice our own happiness to fit in.

The Turning Point: When I Realized I Wasn’t Living My Life

I remember sitting at my desk one day, staring at endless spreadsheets. My job was safe, the paycheck was decent, and my parents were proud. But I felt nothing. No excitement, no passion—just a constant heaviness.

The real wake-up call came when I asked myself:
“If no one cared, what would I do with my life?”
The answer? Something completely different from what I was doing.

That moment changed everything.

How I Broke Free from Other People’s Expectations

1. I Got Honest with Myself

The first step was brutal honesty. I asked:

What do I truly want?
Whose voice is in my head when I make decisions—mine or someone else’s?

I wrote everything down. Seeing it on paper made me realize how much of my life wasn’t actually mine.

2. I Stopped Seeking Approval

For years, I craved validation: from my parents, boss, friends. I wanted them to say, “You’re doing great.”
But here’s the truth: approval is a moving target. The more you chase it, the more it runs.

So I made a conscious choice:
I would rather disappoint others than disappoint myself.

3. I Started Setting Boundaries

When you start living for yourself, not everyone will cheer. Some will resist. That’s why boundaries matter.

I politely said no to projects I hated.
I avoided conversations where people tried to dictate my choices.
I limited time with those who drained me.

4. I Redefined Success

Success used to mean job title, salary, and social status. Now, it means:

Waking up excited for the day
Doing work I love
Feeling peaceful and free

5. I Took Small, Brave Steps

Quitting my job overnight wasn’t realistic. Instead, I started small:

Took an online course in a field I loved
Built a side hustle
Connected with like-minded people

Every tiny step gave me confidence.

What Happened After I Let Go of Expectations

I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted.
My relationships improved because I showed up authentically.
I discovered passions I had buried for years.
Most importantly: I became the author of my own story.

How You Can Break Free Too

If you’re nodding along, wondering how to escape the pressure, here’s a simple plan:

Reflect – Ask yourself: “If no one cared, what would I do?”
Challenge the Voice – When you make a decision, check whose expectation it is.
Start Small – Take one step toward your dream every week.
Build a Support System – Surround yourself with people who encourage your true self.

Final Thoughts: You Owe It to Yourself

You have one life. Don’t spend it trying to please everyone else. Breaking free from expectations isn’t about rejecting others—it’s about embracing who you truly are.

The question is:
If you didn’t have to prove anything to anyone, how would you live today?

Start there.

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How I Built My Personal Brand with Zero Followers

When I started my journey into personal branding, I had no followers, no connections, and no idea how I would stand out in a noisy, fast-paced digital world. I wasn’t an influencer, a CEO, or a thought leader. I was just a person with a message, a story, and a desire to help others grow. If you’re in the same place now—starting with nothing—let me show you how I built my personal brand from the ground up and how you can too.

This isn’t a story about overnight success. It’s about intention, consistency, and building trust—one post, one message, and one relationship at a time.

What Is a Personal Brand and Why Does It Matter?

Before diving into the “how,” let’s get clear on the “why.” A personal brand is not just your logo, bio, or carefully curated Instagram feed. It’s the perception people have about who you are, what you stand for, and how you can help them.

Whether you’re a freelancer, entrepreneur, job seeker, or creator, your personal brand is your most powerful asset. It builds trust, creates opportunities, and turns strangers into loyal advocates.

Step 1: Getting Crystal Clear on My Message

With no audience to speak to, I focused on the one thing I could control—my message.

I asked myself three key questions:

What do I believe in?
What am I passionate about?
Who do I want to serve?

From there, I crafted a simple brand statement:
“I help people get unstuck and become who they were meant to be.”

That statement guided everything—from the content I created to the tone I used in my captions.

✅ SEO Tip: Use keywords like personal growth, authentic branding, and self-development across your website and social media bios to boost discoverability.

Step 2: Choosing the Right Platforms (and Ignoring the Rest)

It’s tempting to be everywhere at once: Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, YouTube, Pinterest… But with no followers and limited time, I chose just one platform to focus on—LinkedIn.

Why LinkedIn?

I wanted to reach professionals interested in growth.
The organic reach was strong.
It rewarded thought leadership and consistency.

By showing up consistently on one platform, I started to own my niche instead of diluting my efforts across ten places.

Step 3: Creating Content Without an Audience

At the beginning, it felt strange to post content when nobody was watching. But I reminded myself: every expert started with zero followers.

I committed to posting:

3 times a week
Thoughtful, valuable content
Focused on personal development, mindset, and resilience

Each post followed this structure:

Hook – To grab attention
Value – Share insight, tips, or personal stories
Call to Action – Invite discussion or reflection

Here’s an early post that got traction:

“You don’t need more motivation. You need better habits. Start by making one small promise to yourself—and keep it. That’s how you build confidence.”

To my surprise, a few likes turned into dozens, then hundreds. Comments began rolling in. People were resonating, even if they weren’t following yet.

Step 4: Engaging Like a Human (Not a Marketer)

Engagement is the lifeblood of personal branding.

I spent 30–60 minutes a day:

Leaving thoughtful comments on other creators’ posts
Responding to every message and comment on mine
Sharing others’ content with my perspective added

This wasn’t about networking for the sake of it. It was about connecting with people genuinely.

If someone inspired me, I told them.
If I read something helpful, I shared it.
If I could help, I did—without asking for anything in return.

Over time, these connections turned into supporters, collaborators, and clients.

Step 5: Leveraging My Story (Even the Messy Parts)

One of the most powerful ways I grew my brand was by sharing my story—not the polished, perfect version, but the real one.

I talked about:

Overcoming imposter syndrome
Failing at my first job
Struggling with self-worth
Lessons from my daily habits

Being vulnerable didn’t weaken my brand. It built trust. People didn’t want a guru—they wanted someone who’d been where they were.

✨ Remember: People connect with people, not perfection.

Step 6: Building an Email List Early

Even with no followers, I knew I didn’t want to rely solely on algorithms.

So, I started an email list with just one subscriber—me.

Here’s how I grew it:

Created a freebie: “10 Mindset Shifts That Changed My Life”
Added the link to my LinkedIn bio and posts
Invited new followers to join each week

Within six months, I had over 1,000 engaged subscribers. That list became the foundation for future launches, courses, and coaching services.

Step 7: Staying Consistent When It Felt Pointless

There were many days I wanted to quit.

No likes.
No comments.
No sign of progress.

But I kept showing up. Not because it was working (yet), but because I believed in my message.

I reminded myself:

“You’re not creating for followers. You’re creating to serve.”

That mindset shift kept me going long enough to see results.

Step 8: Evolving the Brand as I Grew

My personal brand didn’t stay the same. As I learned, failed, and evolved, so did my message.

From general self-help, I moved toward helping creatives build confidence and clarity. I rebranded my site, refined my offers, and aligned everything with my new direction.

Because your personal brand isn’t static—it grows with you.

Results After 12 Months

Here’s what happened after one year of showing up with zero followers:

15,000+ LinkedIn followers
5,000+ email subscribers
Podcast interviews and guest features
Speaking opportunities
My first $10,000+ month from coaching and digital products

All built from nothing—no ads, no viral hacks, no shortcuts. Just clarity, consistency, and connection.

You Don’t Need Followers—You Need a Mission

Building a personal brand from zero is not easy—but it’s absolutely possible.

Don’t wait until you have a fancy website, professional photos, or a viral moment. Start where you are, with what you have. Speak to one person who needs your voice.

Here’s what I’d tell the old me (and maybe you need to hear this too):

“You don’t need followers to make an impact. You need courage, consistency, and a message that matters.”

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Why I Unfollowed Everyone and Focused on My Own Path

How Disconnecting Helped Me Reconnect with My Purpose

In an age where we are more connected than ever, I made a radical decision—I unfollowed everyone. Friends, influencers, celebrities, thought leaders, even mentors I admired. I didn’t do it out of resentment, rebellion, or a need for attention. I did it because I realized something deeply unsettling: I was losing myself.

This wasn’t an impulsive act. It was the result of years of quiet frustration, subtle comparison, and a creeping sense of inadequacy. And the day I clicked “Unfollow” on everyone I knew was the day I began a new chapter—one that led me back to clarity, confidence, and a true sense of purpose.

Let me take you through why I did it, what happened afterward, and what you can learn if you’re feeling overwhelmed, distracted, or stuck in someone else’s dream.

The Subtle Trap of Comparison

We rarely notice it at first. We scroll through Instagram, check LinkedIn updates, consume endless YouTube videos, and follow “successful” people who seem to have it all figured out. We tell ourselves it’s for motivation. Inspiration. Education.

But what starts as inspiration often becomes comparison.

“Why am I not there yet?”
“Should I be doing what she’s doing?”
“Am I falling behind?”

The human brain is wired to mirror, evaluate, and compare. Social media, with its highlight reels and algorithmic rewards, turns this natural tendency into a toxic loop. Even the most disciplined minds aren’t immune to it.

For me, the tipping point came when I realized I was no longer creating from my heart—I was reacting to trends. I wasn’t building my vision—I was adjusting to what others were doing. I wasn’t living my path—I was borrowing someone else’s.

That’s when I knew: I needed silence to find my signal again.

The Decision: Unfollow Everyone

It felt drastic, even disrespectful at first. What if people noticed? Would they be offended? Would I seem cold or arrogant?

But the deeper question was: What’s the cost of continuing to lose myself just to stay connected to people who aren’t even thinking about me?

So I did it. One by one, I unfollowed every account on social media—friends, family, coaches, creators, everyone. I kept only essential tools or professional connections and muted anything unnecessary.

It was uncomfortable. Quiet. Lonely at times.

And then something incredible happened.

The Gift of Mental Space

The very next day, I woke up and didn’t reach for my phone.

I went for a walk and actually noticed the sky.

I sat with my coffee and wasn’t pulled into a vortex of opinions, selfies, or curated success stories.

My brain, for the first time in years, had space to think freely. To imagine. To feel. To breathe.

In that silence, I found my own voice again.

Ideas flowed without being compared. Goals emerged that were truly mine. I began creating content, not for likes or approval, but because it expressed something real in me.

This wasn’t about social media detox. It was about identity restoration.

5 Lessons I Learned from Unfollowing Everyone

1. Clarity Comes from Stillness

You cannot hear your own voice if you’re constantly tuned into others. Unfollowing everyone gave me the quiet I needed to reconnect with my values, dreams, and vision.

2. Most Noise Is Just That—Noise

We confuse relevance with value. Just because something is trending doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Trends change. Authenticity doesn’t.

3. Your Energy Is Your Responsibility

Every scroll is a transaction—you trade your focus and emotional state for someone else’s highlight reel. That’s a poor trade if it leaves you feeling less than enough.

4. Following Too Many People Distracts from Your Own Path

Success isn’t about following what’s popular. It’s about following what’s aligned. Your path is sacred. Protect it from distraction.

5. Solitude Isn’t Isolation—It’s Power

We fear being alone because we equate it with loneliness. But solitude is where the soul speaks. It’s where growth happens. It’s where leaders are born.

What Happened Next?

In the months that followed, my creativity exploded. My productivity doubled. My anxiety dropped significantly. I stopped measuring my progress against other people’s timelines and started honoring my own pace.

I reconnected with old passions. I built deeper relationships in real life. I found joy in simplicity. And most importantly, I began trusting myself again.

The irony? By unfollowing everyone, I became more authentic, more creative, and ultimately more valuable to those I serve.

Should You Unfollow Everyone Too?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But here’s what I’d invite you to ask yourself:

Are you creating from alignment or reacting out of comparison?
Do you feel energized or drained after scrolling?
When was the last time you sat in silence without external input?

You don’t have to unfollow everyone forever. But consider a season of intentional disconnection—a personal “off-grid” moment to tune back into your internal compass.

You might be surprised by what you hear.

Find Your Own Path and Walk It Proudly

The world doesn’t need another copy of someone else’s journey. It needs you—fully alive, fiercely authentic, and deeply aligned with your purpose.

Unfollowing everyone was never about rejection. It was about redirection. It was about reclaiming my time, my energy, and my why.

If you’re feeling lost in a sea of voices, maybe it’s time to choose yours.

Follow your path. Loudly. Proudly. Unapologetically.

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