When Phones Become the Third Wheel
Have you ever been on a romantic dinner with your partner, only to find both of you scrolling through Instagram instead of talking to each other? I have—and let me tell you, it felt awful. At one point, I realized our phones were silently becoming the third wheel in our relationship. If you feel the same, you’re not alone.
Phones keep us connected to the world, but they can disconnect us from the person right in front of us. The good news? It doesn’t have to stay that way. Here’s how I turned things around—and how you can too.
1. Recognize the Problem
The first step is awareness. For me, it hit when I was sharing something important and my partner was busy checking notifications. I wasn’t angry—I was hurt. That moment made me question: Do we value the people on our screens more than the one sitting next to us?
Action tip: Notice how often you (and your partner) check your phone during conversations. If it’s frequent, it’s time for a change.
2. Set Phone-Free Zones or Times
We introduced a simple rule: no phones at the dining table and no phones during our nightly conversations. At first, it felt weird—I kept reaching for my phone without thinking. But after a week, we were laughing more, sharing stories, and feeling connected again.
Try this:
- No phones during meals.
- No phones in bed (this one is a game-changer!).
- A 30-minute phone-free walk together every day.
3. Turn Off Non-Essential Notifications
Most of the time, it’s not urgent. The constant pings make us feel like we have to respond immediately. I turned off notifications for social media and email—and my stress level dropped instantly. My partner did the same, and we both became more present.
Pro tip: Start small. Turn off just one app’s notifications today and notice the difference.
4. Plan Real Connection Moments
Instead of scrolling together in silence, plan activities that require attention and interaction—like cooking a meal together or taking a day trip without your phone. One weekend, we left our phones in the car while hiking, and honestly, it was the most refreshing day we’d had in months.
5. Use Technology to Your Advantage
Ironically, your phone can also help you fix this problem. Use screen time tracking apps to set limits. Schedule “Do Not Disturb” during couple time. Or start a shared hobby—like listening to an audiobook together instead of mindlessly scrolling.
Personal Reflection
When I stopped letting my phone control me, I realized how much I missed genuine eye contact and deep conversations. Phones are tools, not relationship killers—if we use them wisely.
Final Thoughts
Your phone isn’t the enemy—but overusing it can silently destroy the intimacy and connection you’ve built. Start small, stay consistent, and watch how your relationship blossoms again.
Remember: The best notifications in life don’t come from a screen—they come from the person who loves you.
